My Passion

Today the passion inside my chest grew even greater. You see I was one of the statistics to follow in my family tree's path of physical and mental abuse from men to women. It's like an unwritten rule in my family that when this happens to you, you just stick it out. I was mentally & sexually abused, and I went back to BB, I continued to allow this to happen because I thought the 3 words, I love you, overrode all the abuse. But the one time he held me down and started hitting me and I was able to run, I did! I haven't stopped looking back. I cried many tears over that night. I allowed him to say horrible things to me and I believed them, but the one time he hit me, I knew I didn't have to allow that to become my story TOO! Well it's happening in the life of my cousin. And I can't do anything about it. She has to want to stop, she has to be brave enough to say I deserve more than this, I am made for more than this and gets up and walks out or runs and never looks back. I feel like a prisioner in my own skin today. Because I feel so helpless. Shows just how much my codependance is still hanging around. I don't want this for her. I want to tell her whats happen to me, and that I've overcome, and that she can to,  but I don't know how to start that conversation and especially over text.

My passion is women. To help women in this sort of situation, to be that person they call at 2 in the morning with bloody nose, bruised body, and tear filled eyes. To be the hope when they have none. I don't even know how to get started in this. I don't even know if I could keep it at work when I'm at home, but I know that it's my calling. Women and girls we reach out for love in all the wrong places and we continue to fill the same hole in our hearts with this abuse because once we're in the cycle we don't value ourselves enough to step out of it. I want to help them step out of it. I want to be the Vicki in their lives.